Understanding is at the heart of effective communication. When we truly listen to, value, and understand others, we create the foundation for constructive dialogue. Often, we tend to operate on our own beliefs and assumptions, which can be misleading and foster misunderstanding because they are based on our past experiences. For example, if your best friend in the childhood betrayed you and you developed belief that friends can't be trusted anymore—it's NOT a fact, it's just how to reacted to the experience that made you feel bad. That's just the way you explained those negative emotions to yourself. But if instead of trying to understand others you keep on projecting your unhealthy beliefs that is just a result of your past experiences then you keep on going in the cycle without any escape rout.

In fact, according to research by Fiske (2010), our assumptions can lead us to stereotype, stigmatize, or misinterpret others. This can exacerbate conflicts and misunderstandings, even when there are no ill intentions involved.

Moreover, it's a common phenomenon that many of us speak to express our own thoughts rather than seeking to understand others. Watzlawick, Beavin Bavelas, & Jackson (1967), pioneering researchers in communication studies, noted that this approach often results in monologues rather than dialogues.

A true dialogue happens when each person is heard, understood, and when an effort is made to understand the other. The ability to understand others is not just about empathy, it's about building trust, resolving conflicts, and fostering stronger connections.

Most misunderstandings, as per a study by Robbins & Judge (2017), aren't due to ill intentions but due to communication breakdowns. Hence, it's essential to focus on understanding rather than assuming.

So, let's strive to understand more and assume less. Let's aim for dialogue, not monologue. Because everyone deserves to be understood.


Mental Health Therapist, Kateryna


Please note:
This post is for general informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition.

References:
- Fiske, S. T. (2010). Envy Up, Scorn Down: How Status Divides Us. Russell Sage Foundation.
- Watzlawick, P., Beavin Bavelas, J., & Jackson, D. D. (1967). Pragmatics of Human Communication: A Study of Interactional Patterns, Pathologies and Paradoxes. W. W. Norton & Company.
- Robbins, S. P., & Judge, T. (2017). Organizational Behavior. Pearson.